By the time we get to 1 Samuel 19:7 “Jonathan brought David to Saul, and he was in his presence as formerly,” David had been through: Spears thrown at him; threats made, and his assassination ordered. Then Jonathan stepped in. The thrower had been confronted. A vow had been made to never do it again. On the surface, everything was back to “normal.” Really? Is that even possible? It is one thing for Saul to allow David back in the throne room. It is another for David to go back.
When people throw spears at you, even with the compassionate intervening work of others like Jonathan, relationships change. The trust bond has been broken. Rebuilding takes time.
That rebuilding has to start somewhere,with someone. According to Mark 11:25, where does rebuilding begin and who is the person who must initiate the process?
Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. Mark 11:25
The answer to where rebuilding begins is in prayer. This is going to be hard. It has to be done in partnership with God. We need the Holy Spirit’s encouraging and enabling. We need His patience, gentleness and self-control. We need His insight, wisdom and understanding. Often, we need Him to “set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth” (Ps. 141:3) to keep us from throwing spears.
The one with whom this begins is the one with a target on their forehead. You! It doesn’t seem fair. You have something against them because they are wrong; they threw spears; they are out to get you. It isn’t fair; it is grace! Grace is the manifestation of who God is: His love and all His attributes, which He freely gives to us. When we respond with grace, we are manifesting His presence and all He is in our lives. Even though we are the ones having spears thrown at us, we are the ones that need to begin the rebuilding process.
On a side note: If you are the offending party, you are the one who threw the first spear (returned or not)– or maybe they just think you threw a spear at them, drop what you are doing and seek grace and forgiveness. “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.” Matthew 5:23,24
Why you? Why me?
We are (or should be) already be living and working in partnership with Christ. Because of that intimacy, the Holy Spirit is able to fill and flow unhindered in our lives. He enables and empowers. If they were partnering with Christ, they would NOT be throwing spears.
We are (or should be) already be living and working in partnership with Christ. Because of that intimacy, the Holy Spirit is able to fill and flow unhindered in our lives. He enables and empowers. If they were partnering with Christ, they would NOT be throwing spears.
So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Colossians 3:12-14
Forgiving is what people overwhelmed by the amazing grace of God do!
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32
Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Luke 6:36
Stop and let the last part of 1 John 4:17 seek in. “As He is, so also are we in this world.” That needs to define everything we do, especially being gracious, merciful and forgiving.
We need to be quick, thorough and frequent forgiveness-givers.
Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21,22
Matthew 18:35 adds a tough condition: “from the heart!” What does that mean to you?
Before we can forgive, we have to know what “forgiving” truly means. It does NOT mean FORGETTING or pretending it never happened. If we forget it or ignore it, we cannot sakal (gain wisdom) from the experience.
There are four words translated “forgive” in the New Testament.
- apoluo to let loose from, untie, free
- aphesis to stand or back off, to release
- aphiemi to let go, push forward or awayfrom oneself, disassociate
- charisomai to willingly extend grace, favor or kindness
Forgiving is to release someone from their owing you, being accountable to you for their words, actions or attitude. According to 1 Corinthians 13:5, it is an act of agape love that “does not take into account a wrong.” It doesn’t get added to a debt ledger – “You owe me!” If you know this is the 5th time or the 129th time, you are keeping track. Agape love isn’t a feeling. It is choosing to care and prioritizes what is best for others. Agape gets over offenses quickly and completely. Every time is the first time. When you love those who choose to be your enemy, there will always be a next time - an opportunity to do it again for the first time.
If you insist on counting it, then James 1:2-4 says to count it as “joy” because it results in maturity and wholeness-- if you let it!
We not only have the wonderful opportunity to forgive them, but the privilege of seeking forgiveness on their behalf. On the cross, Jesus prayed, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34) While being stoned, Stephen prayed,“Lord, do not hold this sin against them!” (Acts 7:60) We too are invited to make that gracious request.
This is the confidence, which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests, which we have asked from Him. If anyone sees his brother committing a sin not leading to death, he shall ask and God will for him give life to those who commit sin not leading to death. There is a sin leading to death; I do not say that he should make request for this. All unrighteousness is sin, and there is a sin not leading to death. 1 John 5:14-17
It is the sin of unbelief that leads to death. We cannot accept the gift of salvation for someone else. Believe me, if I could I would. “My heart’s desire and prayer to God for them is for their salvation.”(Rom. 10:1) Believing is a choice only they can make. Paul said he would give up his own salvation if he could exchange it for the souls of his fellow Israelites (Romans 9:1-5). We can’t do that, but we can seek the gift of forgiveness on their behalf for sins we become aware of, especially those they commit against us personally. On your behalf and solely because of your relationship with the Father and because you ask, He will let it go and not hold it against him/her either. This is HUGE! Asking God to not hold him/her accountable to Him is the ultimate act of forgiveness on your part.
We need to keep in mind that: We are not presenting our supplication before You on account of any merit of our own, but on account of Your great compassion. Daniel 9:18b
Before David could risk going back into that throne room, he had to choose to forgive Saul from the heart. It happened; it may happen again, but he chose: (1) to extend mercy and grace; (2) love regardless, and (3) trust the One who was truly trustworthy – God. This is impossible outside of a partnership with Christ! Only by going back and forgive could David go forward.
When there was war again, David went out and fought with the Philistines and defeated them with great slaughter, so that they fled before him. 1 Samuel 19:8
One simple verse tells us so much. (1) Time passed. We don’t know how much. 2 Samuel 11:1 and 1 Chronicle 20:1 both refer to “in the spring at the time when kings go out to battle,” so it could have been months. (2) David showed up and gave his all. Actually he excelled. What does that tell you about David’s attitude toward Saul and the past? Time tattles on us as well. A month or so after a spear was thrown at you, what did your attitude toward your spear thrower reveal about you?
David went back to before Saul threw that first spear, and then moved forward with integrity. What about Saul?
Now there was an evil spirit from the LORD on Saul as he was sitting in his house with his spear in his hand, and David was playing the harp with his hand. Saul tried to pin David to the wall with the spear, but he slipped away out of Saul’s presence, so that he stuck the spear into the wall. And David fled and escaped that night. 1 Samuel 19:9,10
When my kids were in grade school, they use to sing a silly song with the bridge “same song, second verse, a little bit faster, a little bit worse.” That is where we are with Saul. It has definitely gotten worse. The contrast between David and Saul is as diverse as the objects in their hands. What does it indicate to you that Saul “was sitting in his house with his spear in his hand”? He was asking for trouble.
God asked Moses that very question: “What is in your hand?” (Exodus 4:2) What is in your hand is also in your control. It can be a responsibility, ability, opportunity, a resource or power. It can also be a memory, an experience or a lingering thought or persistent mindset. Like Moses and his staff, submitted to God, the ordinary can become the extraordinary. Or like Saul and his spear, un-submitted it can be a weapon used against others, self and God’s purpose and glory. What is in your hand? What are you going to do with it?
David had his harp in his hand and was playing it. What can you surmise was happening in that throne room? Saul was being terrorized and was terrorizing. Messing with his spear had to have everyone, especially David, on edge wonder what would Saul do. What did he do? He purposely rammed the spear into the wall, trying to “pin David to the wall.” This time it was deliberate and violent. Once again “David fled and escaped that night.”
This statement: “David fled and escaped” will describe the next season of David’s life. Even though he forgave, he found himself having to forgive again and again. It was the only way David could keep moving forward.
