Friends are wonderful.
You love them. They love you. In friendship there is a reciprocated
feeling of love that binds heart and often soul. The Greek word for this natural affection,
emotional and sometimes physical experience of genuinely loving and being loved
is phileo. Where eros
is passionate and agape is choosing
to care, phileo simply loves. It is there - that warm, comforting,
comfortable, very natural, unsolicited feeling of love. And God feels that for you!
The love of choice (agape) is most often associated with God. It is awesome that a
pure, holy Almighty God chooses to love us, but it is even more amazing that He
just does. When the King of kings and
Lord of lords thinks about you, He experiences all the feelings and sensations
of phileo love. When we feel the same way, there is the
endless possibility of an incredible friendship.
In James 2:23 (as well as 2 Chronicles 20:7 and Isaiah 41:8) Abraham was called a friend of God. Phileo
love! God just loved him! Abraham loved him back. Those feelings they
shared led to Abraham being able to trust his friend, God, explicitly. (Romans 4:18-22) Moses, too, had an amazing
friendship with God. Exodus 33:11 says
the two of them talked “as a man speaks with his friend.” They shared life at a
level of intimacy that only best friends can share. Jesus wants that kind of
friendship with you.
Friendships begin for a number of reasons. Some are
easily identifiable like a having a common interest. At time it isn’t quite so
obvious or even logical, the friendship just seem to happen as two lives make a
heart connection. As in the case with
Jesus, one friend may initiate and pursue another to take a casual or working
relationship deeper into a genuine friendship. (John 15:15) There are five ways to measure how deep that
friendship truly is:
1. Time spent together. Friends spend time together. Once in awhile we are blessed with
friendships that endure despite being separated by long distances. When you are
together, these unique friendships seem to pick up where you left off. However, they do not grow. Friendship takes being together, sharing and
caring, enduring the test of time and experiences. Jesus promises to never leave or forsake you.
(Hebrews 13:5) He says He will be with
you always. (Matthew 28:20) As His
friend, you have to be with Him. That means He can’t show up and you are
constantly preoccupied or too busy to do life with Him.
2. How much you can tell them. Jesus wants to tell you wonderful things
about who He is and share His heart and His desires with you. He wants to do that through His Spirit (John 16:12-15), His word (Psalm 119:18) and through ongoing conversations/prayer
(Jeremiah 33:3). You can tell Jesus
anything! He is omniscient – all knowing.
There are no surprises. The one who knows you best, loves you most! No matter what, He will only love you more as
you share your pain, your failures, your hopes and desires, you life with Him.
3. What they can tell you. The most important friendship you can have is
one where they have earned the right to speak hard truths to you. (Proverbs 27:6) If there is an attitude or action that
doesn’t belong, He wants to be able to sit down and discuss it with you. He loves you too much not to. (Revelation 3:19) He wants to use His word to speak
truth with grace into your life. 2 Timothy 3:16 tells us that all Scripture: teaches – tells us how it should be,
rebukes – tells us what is wrong; corrects – tells us how to fix it, and trains
– tells us how to keep it from going wrong again. Genuine friendship opens our heart to hear
and apply the truth, even if it is hard and humbling.
4. What you can ask for.
Jesus told a parable about this very thing. (Luke 11:5-8) Persistence is why he got the bread, but the
reason why he went to that particular person at such an ungodly hour wasn’t
just because he knew his neighbor had what he needed, but because the neighbor
was his friend. A phone solicitor calls
because you have what they need – money.
Prayer can’t be another form of solicitation. Jesus invites you to ask for anything (Matthew 7:7,8). He extends this wonderful
privilege to you because you are His friend, not because He want to be your one
stop superstore. On the other hand, as His friend, He wants to be able to ask
you for or to do anything He might need.
5. How much we are willing to do and sacrifice for our
friend. (John 15:13,14) Friendship is freely surrendering yourself –
all you are and all you have – for the wellbeing of your friend. Jesus showed the extent He was willing to go
for you by going to the cross. But it
didn’t end there. It began there. (Romans 8:32) He continues to give all He is and has to you. 2 Peter 1:3 says that everything you need for
life and godliness has already been made assessable to you through your
friendship with Him. But, it can’t be a one-way
friendship where He does all the giving.
Are you willing to lay down your life for Him to whatever extent life
demands?
Our surrendering in friendship with Jesus takes the
form of obedience, devotion and imitation – wanting to be just like our
friend. Like all friendships, the more
you have in common – interests, passions, and goals, as well as the time spent
together pursuing them, the closer that friendship will grow.
Making It
Personal
What does it mean to you that Jesus has a very real feeling
of love for you?
Do you have a genuine feeling of love for the Lord?
In the Greek, 1 Corinthians 16:22 says “If any do not phileo the Lord Jesus Christ, he is anathema
(set apart and not an active part).”
Why should you be concerned if you do not feel love for the Lord?
How deep is your friendship with Him? Go back through the 5 measurements and assess
the depth of your friendship. What can
you personally do to deepen your friendship with Jesus?
