Read 2 Samuel 2:1-3
I am extremely blessed to have a husband that is on
the same page as I am when it comes to what we do and why. Where we tend to run
into conflict is in the timing. Timing really isn’t about the clock or the
calendar; it is about control and trust. Whom we entrust with the when is all
about whom do we trust most to accomplish what we want?
We have several options:
1) Don’t ask, do
If we can do it, we do it. Skip the involvement of others
altogether, do it ourselves, how and when that makes us feel in the most control
of the situation.
2) Don’t ask, assume = angst
If we are aware of what needs
to be done, surely they can figure it out, especially God. The Bible tells us that He knows what we
want/need before we ask. (Matthew 6:8) We think, “I shouldn’t have to ask!” We presume
others know we want their help as well.
We don’t ask, and then we anxiously fret and worry that nothing will be
done when we want, if at all.
3) Ask and anger
In this option, we do ask others to do it or at least help us do
what we want/need done, but maintain control by dictating the when. When the when is not happening when we want
it, there is usually sulking, nagging or threats. This reluctant reliance results in resentment
when we don’t get the response we request.
4) Truth and trust
Truth is an
honest dialog with self, God and others that there is a need, a want and a
dependency. Leave the games behind. Clearly communicate what is needed, state
your preferences for when and how, and humbly acknowledge that you want and
need their help. Trust means you willingly
release your grasp on the control of timing and calmly wait. (Psalm 37:3-7)
Earlier David had gone with option #1. (1 Samuel 27:1)
He wanted an immediate fix to being endlessly
pursued by Saul. At the time, it seemed to be an easy solution. However, quick
fixes and compromise multiply the complications and consequences. His “don’t
ask, do” timing led them to sixteen very difficult months. He was not
going to make that mistake again.
His experience taught him that trusting God’s timing
was the best for everyone involved. His desire for God’s will was greater then
his consuming desire to go home. The question was timing. Is it time to go back
to Israel? Remember: timing is about
control; control is about trust! He
trusted God to know if and when and where was best for all involved.
God knows better than we
do, just how desperately we need His involvement in our current situation. We need His wisdom (James 1:5) and His
provision (Matthew 6:31:33). At times, we
need Him to do it for us. (Luke 18:27) But in this partnership, He will not do
it without being asked. Truth and trust
willingly asks, graciously submits to His timing and direction and actively
follows His lead.
Making It Personal
Which options are addressed
in the following passages? How can you personally apply these to the current
needs in your life?
- Philippians 4:6,7
- James 4:1-3
- Psalm 37:5-7 The Message
How does not asking
hinder your relationship with God and/or others?
In The Message, Eugene
Peterson states that the Lord wants you to “be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants
instead of being tyrannized by what you want.” (1 Peter 4:2) How can demanding your timing “tyrannize your soul?”
What prayer games have you
played in an attempt to get what you want from God?
“Truth and trust” is
obviously the best option. Prayerfully
apply each defining elements to your current need/situation.
- Obvious need
- Personal preference
- Acknowledged dependence
- Letting go of control
